Although Oprah’s show has ended, I read and wanted to share the following article by Louisa Jewell - Through the power of storytelling and television, Oprah brought to life many lessons taught by positive psychologists around the world. She used her final show to share her greatest lessons from 25 years of the Oprah show. Here they are…
You have the power to change your life.
This was the common theme of every Oprah show. If an African American girl born in Mississippi in the 50’s could rise to Oprah’s level, anything was possible. Oprah’s final guest was a Zimbabwean woman Tererai Trent, who embodied everything the Oprah show stood for. Tererai’s story was one that showed us the power of hope and how it can propel people to overcome insurmountable obstacles and emerge triumphant. See Tererai’s inspiring story here.
You are not alone.
Oprah interviewed ordinary people and shared their stories. It wasn’t until I started watching Oprah that I realized that all families had some dysfunction. And knowing this brought me great comfort. Often, when we see that there are many people just like us, our challenges seem less daunting.
Happiness is contagious.
After interviewing Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, who could feel other people’s energy after she survived a massive stroke, Oprah realized that all of the energy you put out into the world – whether positive or negative – comes back to you. Dr. Taylor gave Oprah a sign for her office that read, “Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.” Just as Jane Dutton, Barbara Fredrickson and others have found, positive energy in the workplace, at home, or in our community, is contagious.
“You and this show have been the great love of my life.”
Other people matter.
The first day Oprah showed up in Chicago to do her show, she found she did not have a studio audience. Suddenly, she didn’t have other people to gauge how things were going during the show – if it was good, if it was bad, if it was funny. We are co-creating every experience in our lives. Oprah surrounded herself with loving viewers and through that profound connection she understood what people needed and delivered a show that struck a chord with millions of viewers in 150 countries.
“Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it.”
Everybody has a calling.
Whether it’s to clean drain pipes or conduct an orchestra, we are all called to something bigger than ourselves. Just as Amy Wrzesniewski, Yale researcher, discovered, any job can be a calling and for those of us lucky enough to call our work our calling, it can be a foundation for a lifetime of fulfillment and happiness.
Giving is better than receiving.
While she shocked us with incredible give-aways, the most inspiring shows were ones when she reunited loved ones or gave homeless people a home. I remember on one show she asked everyone in the studio audience to bring a pair of pajamas for a woman who donated pajamas to children living in homeless shelters. The audience of 300 brought over 30,000 pairs of pajamas to the show! Through her acts of kindness, she inspired us to give more of ourselves. Jonathan Haidt wrote, “Elevation is elicited by acts of virtue or moral beauty; it causes warm, open feelings in the chest; and it motivates people to behave more virtuously themselves.”
“There is a difference between thinking you deserve to be happy and knowing you are worthy of happiness.”
You are worthy.
We often block our own blessings because we don’t feel inherently smart enough, pretty enough, or just plain good enough. It is what Dr. Martin Seligman discovered when people felt helpless. Realistic optimism and a strong belief in ourselves can have a profound impact on our lives.
“…I would tell you that every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire. They want to know: Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?”
Everyone wants to be heard.
One person- Mrs. Duncan, Oprah’s 4th grade teacher, validated her at a young age, and this changed the course of her life. This is why Shelly Gable’s Active Constructive Responding technique is so powerful. It demonstrates to people that ‘we are listening’ and ‘what you say matters to me.’ Mrs. Duncan reminds us that every single one of us can make a difference in someone’s life.
Gratitude
Her final message is one of gratitude; gratitude for her viewers, her staff, her friends, her loved ones and God’s everlasting presence. Robert Emmons demonstrated the power of gratitude through his research and Oprah brought it to the masses by encouraging people to keep a daily gratitude journal. She didn’t need a PhD to know the power of appreciation.
Ann and I speculated about how she would end the show. Will she turn out the lights like Mary Tyler Moore? Will she have some final dream giveaway hiding under everyone’s seat?
No…instead she somberly walks off the stage, through the audience and walks right over to Stedman, her lifetime love and partner, and kisses him right on the lips. She waves as she walks out of the exit and embraces several staff members as she passes them in the long narrow hallway. Finally, with her high heels in her hand, she picks up her dog Sadie, gives her a big hug, and walks off into the distance.
Her show ends with this final act of love.
Perfect.
Relationships at Work
Since the holiday theme for February has always been about relationship, and since many of us dedicate the majority of our time at the office, why not improve or deepen our relationships at work. Whether you work from a home office or an external office you can build good relationships. If you work alone from a home office, be proactive and set up times to get together with others. Arrange a breakfast or lunchtime appointment so that you can get to know somebody better and at business gatherings network with a few people rather than trying to meet everyone. A few sound relationships is better than a collection of business cards. Build relationships!
Here are some additional ideas that will help out at work ...
● Appreciate Your Colleagues and Co-Workers
Show appreciation and gratitude to your colleagues and co-workers. Speak it out loud. Recognizing the work of others creates a positive, happier, more productive environment. A Valentine’s Win-Win!
● Time
Take good care of yourself by taking a break at different times of the day. Join a colleague for a coffee break...go outside and take a walk with a few co-workers or set up a time to have lunch together. Invest your time in building good, solid relationships.
● Notice Your Nutrition
Eat healthy. Take notice of the fuel you select for your body. Bring nutritious snacks to work and share them with everyone. If you feel it is appropriate, suggest that everyone takes a turn bringing in a healthy snack.
● Spruce Up Your Workspace
You spend a lot of time at work…spruce up your work area! Put up pictures that have meaning to you. Add some color to your space or to other areas of the office. Colors can positively shift moods and energy. For example, different shades of yellow can be bright and vibrant especially on a cloudy day. Softer yellow projects a warmer, cozier feeling. Create a work environment you truly enjoy. Oh, and make sure you are comfortable!
I trust you've had a wonderful Valentine's week thus far and encourage you to maintain the spirit of this occasion at work and at home throughout the year!
Here are some additional ideas that will help out at work ...
● Appreciate Your Colleagues and Co-Workers
Show appreciation and gratitude to your colleagues and co-workers. Speak it out loud. Recognizing the work of others creates a positive, happier, more productive environment. A Valentine’s Win-Win!
● Time
Take good care of yourself by taking a break at different times of the day. Join a colleague for a coffee break...go outside and take a walk with a few co-workers or set up a time to have lunch together. Invest your time in building good, solid relationships.
● Notice Your Nutrition
Eat healthy. Take notice of the fuel you select for your body. Bring nutritious snacks to work and share them with everyone. If you feel it is appropriate, suggest that everyone takes a turn bringing in a healthy snack.
● Spruce Up Your Workspace
You spend a lot of time at work…spruce up your work area! Put up pictures that have meaning to you. Add some color to your space or to other areas of the office. Colors can positively shift moods and energy. For example, different shades of yellow can be bright and vibrant especially on a cloudy day. Softer yellow projects a warmer, cozier feeling. Create a work environment you truly enjoy. Oh, and make sure you are comfortable!
I trust you've had a wonderful Valentine's week thus far and encourage you to maintain the spirit of this occasion at work and at home throughout the year!
Happy Valentine's Day!
Yes, I am a romantic at heart. I always have been. I love any occasion to celebrate connection, appreciation, gratitude, the sweet smell of flowers and the taste of rich, decadent, dark chocolate that melts in your mouth.
What would you like to add to your personal and business relationships that will enrich your life as well as others? Below you will find some Valentine ideas for home and family and tomorrow I'll add thoughts for the workplace.
Enjoy this awesome day and celebrate love with all those you cherish!
Relationships at Home
The greatest exercise for the heart is lifting somebody else up...
Life is all about our relationships … relationships with others and with yourself. I have some tips that will point you towards building healthy, fun, positive, forward moving relationships, for your personal and business life.
As a start, consider the connections you have with others and connections that you would like to make. Be aware and set your intentions on what you want in your life. Be grateful and express this gratitude from your heart to the people that matter to you. As the anonymous quote above intimates, we grow stronger as we connect with others.
Whether it is your spouse/partner, children, friends, co-workers or colleagues, gratitude and appreciation is the gift that keeps on giving. Why? Because while it makes others feel good to be acknowledged, in turn, it makes the person giving the acknowledgement feel great too!
● Express Gratitude, Appreciation, and Respect
Expressing our gratitude, appreciation, and respect to others transcends the people around you. Reaching out and sharing just one thing for which you feel grateful or appreciative lifts the spirit and mood for both of you. Live dangerously and tell them several things that touch you.
● Designated Date Night
My husband and I have been enjoying a date night now for years. Each week we take a time-out together where we simply enjoy each other’s company. Where and what you do is not as important as the quality time you spend with each other. Whether you stay home and make a fire and enjoy a glass of wine or see a movie and enjoy a meal at your neighborhood restaurant, being together without cell phones, television, newspapers, your kids, or any other distractions allows you the time to focus on each other.
… And please listen carefully. Resist the urge to talk about work, the kids, the in-laws, bills to pay, and other responsibilities. Simply enjoy what brought you together in the first place.
● Self-Time
Give yourself a gift. Take some well-deserved time to do whatever you like. Self-time gives you the opportunity to re-energize and re-connect with yourself and the universe. For your nurturing self: Get a massage, take a bubble bath, read a magazine, enjoy a romantic comedy. For you action self: workouts, sporting events and action movies! Do something you find satisfying.
● Dedicated Time
Take 15 minutes each day to connect with your partner. Talk about what is going on in your lives. Communication that is open and flowing improves individual and collective health. Do the same with your kids!
● Have Fun
That’s right…Have Fun!! Sometimes as adults we forget about the simplicity of fun. We droop with responsibilities as opposed to celebrating life. Find the joy and as we are reminded in Forrest Gump, Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get! Think about what would put a smile on your face and lighten your mood. See a silly movie, do something you enjoyed as a teen. Buy some Bazooka Joe bubble gum and start blowing bubbles!
What would you like to add to your personal and business relationships that will enrich your life as well as others? Below you will find some Valentine ideas for home and family and tomorrow I'll add thoughts for the workplace.
Enjoy this awesome day and celebrate love with all those you cherish!Relationships at Home
The greatest exercise for the heart is lifting somebody else up...
Life is all about our relationships … relationships with others and with yourself. I have some tips that will point you towards building healthy, fun, positive, forward moving relationships, for your personal and business life.
As a start, consider the connections you have with others and connections that you would like to make. Be aware and set your intentions on what you want in your life. Be grateful and express this gratitude from your heart to the people that matter to you. As the anonymous quote above intimates, we grow stronger as we connect with others.
Whether it is your spouse/partner, children, friends, co-workers or colleagues, gratitude and appreciation is the gift that keeps on giving. Why? Because while it makes others feel good to be acknowledged, in turn, it makes the person giving the acknowledgement feel great too!
● Express Gratitude, Appreciation, and Respect
Expressing our gratitude, appreciation, and respect to others transcends the people around you. Reaching out and sharing just one thing for which you feel grateful or appreciative lifts the spirit and mood for both of you. Live dangerously and tell them several things that touch you.
● Designated Date Night
My husband and I have been enjoying a date night now for years. Each week we take a time-out together where we simply enjoy each other’s company. Where and what you do is not as important as the quality time you spend with each other. Whether you stay home and make a fire and enjoy a glass of wine or see a movie and enjoy a meal at your neighborhood restaurant, being together without cell phones, television, newspapers, your kids, or any other distractions allows you the time to focus on each other.
… And please listen carefully. Resist the urge to talk about work, the kids, the in-laws, bills to pay, and other responsibilities. Simply enjoy what brought you together in the first place.
● Self-Time
Give yourself a gift. Take some well-deserved time to do whatever you like. Self-time gives you the opportunity to re-energize and re-connect with yourself and the universe. For your nurturing self: Get a massage, take a bubble bath, read a magazine, enjoy a romantic comedy. For you action self: workouts, sporting events and action movies! Do something you find satisfying.
● Dedicated Time
Take 15 minutes each day to connect with your partner. Talk about what is going on in your lives. Communication that is open and flowing improves individual and collective health. Do the same with your kids!
● Have Fun
That’s right…Have Fun!! Sometimes as adults we forget about the simplicity of fun. We droop with responsibilities as opposed to celebrating life. Find the joy and as we are reminded in Forrest Gump, Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get! Think about what would put a smile on your face and lighten your mood. See a silly movie, do something you enjoyed as a teen. Buy some Bazooka Joe bubble gum and start blowing bubbles!
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